1. Outgoing vulgar ring-back tone. I have no interest in knowing that you like big butts, even if it’s not a lie. For real!

2. A very complacent, religious, or rude voicemail when I call. Some real examples: “Yeah, I’ll get back to you when I feel like it”, A 5 minute sermon, or “If it’s important, I may return your call”. If I leave a message, which I probably won’t.

3. Don’t leave me a 20 minute long, ultra-detailed message with a speed through of your name/number. That is the important part of your message. Slow down and leave your name and number twice.

4. Don’t leave a message when you are in a wind tunnel, on an airplane, or at a rock concert. I don’t have sonar!

5. If you have never spoken with me personally, don’t just leave your name/number. Add some detail so I know why I am calling you back.

Happy dialing!