5. Your resume isn't getting you noticed for a new job or promotion. The definition of insanity is repeatedly doing the exact same thing with a different result. We all know that.
4. You are too nervous in an interview to let your true self shine. You don't feel confident in interviews. Or perhaps, you are just unsure of what the interviewer is looking for.
3. You aren't sure of the next step in your career path, or you are looking to identify some transferable skills to switch fields.
2. You have been at your job for a long time and want to know your fair market value. (Or you haven't interviewed in a long time.)
And the NUMBER ONE reason to hire a career coach:
1. Your competition is working with me or someone like me! Don't you want the upper hand?
Call or email today!
Don't worry: I didn't put a picture on this blog article!
A few weeks ago, a dear friend posed a metaphorical question: How much douche could a douchebag douche if a douchebag could douche douche? And I texted her immediately, asking if she was responding to an email from our prior head honcho.
So...I posed the question to my loyal facebook fans: How do you know your manager is a "big fizzy douche" (to coin a musical number in Chuck Lorre's ingenious and always entertaining show, "Two and a Half Men"? The response was overwhelming, and emails are still coming in.
So, with no further ado, are you, or do you have, a DOUCHE BOSS? Here is a Top 10 Get Hired and Beyond Exclusive List!
10. You take no accountability for your team, point fingers, and blame others for your disinterest and inadequacy.
9. You treat your employees as objects, rather than humans. This is especially true and especially disgusting at termination time.
8. You lie or make false promises, including (but not limited to): promises of raises and promotions which the company cannot back up (and you are well aware of the carrot you dangle.)
7. Instead of focusing on employee accomplishments, you nitpick the 3 minutes someone is late because they are stuck in traffic, commuting half an hour or more, to get to your stress-filled crap zone of despair. (Ok, maybe that's one of my personal contributions.)
6. You speak to your subordinates as though they were minions. Or small, stupid children. Or small, stupid minions. Being demeaning and demoralizing is a very douche way to talk to individuals you personally hired for skill and expertise.
5. You don't delegate work appropriate for the staff you hired because nobody will do it as well as you do, thereby making very intelligent people fixate on mediocre crap.
4. You devalue anything in your employees' lives besides work and expect them at your beck and call, at minimum wage, around the clock. (Right, Boss from #7?)
3. You are too self absorbed to notice that morale has gone down the toilet, faster than your team can say "Douche!"
2. You rule through a culture of intimidation, rather than a culture of respect. Yeah, that sucks on the receiving end!
1. You ask a minimum wage employee for a personal loan, then threaten to penalize the person since they did not provide you with said loan. (I actually heard that from someone this week, and think that takes the KING DOUCHE CROWN!)
Sorry to have offended anyone with the repeated usage of the word "douche'. Please feel free to take creative license when sharing with others, and change to ass-hat, crap-nozzle, jerkoff, or any other term that truly encompasses the ultimate douche-ness of a prior (or current) boss.
Feel free to share in comments or privately how your boss has been a huge douche to you! Your anonymous quote may make it into an upcoming blog!
I shall now go burst into the musical number made famous by Walden Schmidt and Alan Harper! And...I can't sing!
How does someone doing their job turn into a hero? Does something of pure evil have to occur in order to make an everyday job into a heroic situation?
I am convinced that 9/11/2011 started out as a normal day for the NYPD and NYFD employees who kissed their spouses goodbye and went off to work. Nobody could have foreseen what that day would bring! These were not people preparing to be heroes, just people headed to a day on the job! Many did not know they would not return home.
There are heroes everywhere. The teacher who helps an underachieving student work up to grade level. The therapist who reaches out a hand to a troubled teen and prevents a potential suicide. The founder of a no-kill animal shelter who gives a dog or cat a new lease on life. The friend who is there to listen.
Look for the heroes. Thank someone. Be a hero to someone who needs you. The best way to remember is through action. Let those who landed the plane in the field in Arlington and hijacked the vehicle from the hijackers inspire you to do something good for others. In that way, we can spread love and hope, and keep the evil at bay!
No, my loyal readers, this is not a pornographic post! Your cover letter should be no more than 3 paragraphs. 3 short paragraphs! You really don't want to lose your audience before he/she opens your resume.
And speaking of resumes, there is various discussion of whether a resume should span 1 or 2 pages. Based on your level of experience, I am fine with a resume spanning 2 pages, going back no longer than 10 years. Please, any longer than that, and you are not going to captivate your audience in the 20 seconds or less it takes to scan said resume. A full CV is not required for most positions, but is helpful to have on your hard drive to discuss talking points which may be over 10 years old but remain relevant.
When to follow up after an interview? More than a day is too long! A brief thank you email, including an opening to have the interviewer contact you with questions should be in his/her inbox no later than the morning after you interviewed. Too much time goes by, and your follow up skills may be questioned, especially if a competing candidate emailed sooner!
Good luck and happy hunting!